"I have never taken PEZ. Period!" exclaimed an indignant Manny Ramirez at a news conference in Outlaw Pond. Rumors that a leaked banned substance test result implicated a prominent Outlaw slugger facing a long suspension continue to swirl viciously around Outlaw Pond and NASBL. And after Omar the Great emphatically announced his PEDs innocence, the rumor mills started targeting Manny.
"I really don't understand these accusations," continued a baffled-looking Manny. "The candy in those PEZ are so full of sugar and artificial ingredients that no sane athlete would put that stuff in his body. And there's hardly any candy in those big plastic monstrosities. It's a real rip-off! I would never buy these things. These accusations just doesn't make sense."
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