Saturday, February 6, 2010

WILL OMAR STAY?


The only hot topic in Outlaw Pond talk radio since the town's first World Series victory has been "Will Omar Stay?" With a roster chock full of World Series champions and impending roster cuts looming, hacks want to know if fan favorite and thirteen-year team veteran Omar Vizquel will wear an Outlaw uniform in 2010.

League rules make Omar ineligible for the 2010 draft so the only way that he can play in Wreckin' So Field this year is for management to name Vizquel to their hotly-anticipated seventeen man keeper list. Given the crowded roster of champions, Outlaw management faces a tough choice between fan loyalty and cold hard logic.

Omar Vizquel, aka The Glove, was acquired in 1996 in a reluctant straight-up deal for the team's first pitching ace, Mark Langston. Since then Omar has batted 6788 times (2nd in team history), smacked 1768 hits (2nd), scored 926 times (4th), batted in 600 runs (3rd), stolen 378 bases (2nd), ended world hunger, cured cancer, and been involved in a few high profile incidents. But the unrecorded statistic is how many out-3's (fielding chart double plays for you non-dice rolling newbies) have been turned during Omar's storied career. Just how many wins do aces Tim Hudson and Jake Peavy and the Outlaw fans owe to Omar's still-reliable glove?

Decision time looms. Outlaw management sweats out a decision. Stay tuned for next week's edition of "As the Omar Turns . . ."

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