Vizquel Contract Negotiations Stall

The Outlaw Josey Wales taking the field without Omar Vizquel would be like yin without yang, day without night, DDay without Bluto. But this shocking possibility set the rumor mills abuzz in Outlaw Pond when Vizquel's agent, Snidley T. Whiplash, called the Wale's contract offer for the aging veteran "baffling." The fifteen-year Outlaw fan favorite is second in team history in atbats (6954), hits (1803), and stolen bases (378), and no-doubt first in that all-important but unrecorded out-3 fielding chart category. Everyone assumed that Wales officials would overpay the 43 year-old face of the franchise out of respect and loyalty. Omar, aka Mr. Wales, has been through both unbelievable on-field performances and adversity throughout team history. But baseball is a business and some rumors have Outlaw playing hardball with Whiplash and Vizquel. Some even speculate that rival New Jersey Trash Heap are bidding up Omar's price, although most doubt that the Heap want to start an all-out war. Even though the aging shortstop's best years are clearly behind him, Outlaw fans have little doubt that a deal will get done and Vizquel will be playing in Outlaw well into the future. The alternative is unthinklable . . .