5:15 - Rabidoux shows up on time with beer, an obvious ploy to disable LCC's decision-making. 5:17 - Beard discovers Rabidoux brought a 9-pack. The decision-making playing field is now level, at least.
Bottom of the 1st - LCC takes heart when the punchless VFS outfield of Chone Figgins, Emil Brown, and Mark Kotsay take the field. Unfortunately, the LCC offense goes down more easily than Paris Hilton.
Trever Miller comes on in relief with one on. Passed ball, passed ball, ground ball ss A with the infield in, Thome scores on a coin toss. Rab goes for more beer and popcorn.
Chad Bradford comes in and gets a quick out, then walks Pujols and (smartly) Delgado before giving up a single to Emil Brown and joining Boof in the shower.
Liriano enters the game, holding his elbow. Pinch-hitter Jonny Gomes walks, pinch-runner Ricky Weeks steals 2nd, and a passed ball moves him to 3rd. Chipper Jones shrewdly takes advantage of the situation by striking out.
Liriano gets two quick outs. His work is rewarded by a hook when pinch-hitter Jose Cruz Jr (alleged grandson of Rusty Staub) comes up. Cruz is replaced by 80's teen sensation Corey Hart. Flyout.
Bottom of the 9th, last chance. Renteria walks and steals 2nd. Billy Wagner tools it up to about 102, striking out Francouer, Chipper, and Papi in the clutch to end the game. VFS 6 - LCC 5.
Game MVP Carlos Delgado, through the NASBL official translator had this to say about his 2 HR, 4 RBI performance, "Oh, how candy is the dick large that rubs LCC the wrong way."
Wait, who the F is paying this translator? For $65 you can get a real one.
Thome singles in front of former (current?) LCC employee Chone Figgins, who obligingly allows it to roll between his legs, then kicks it around until Thome moves to 3rd.
Thome scores, then in the bottom of the inning "Robert Walker" Figgins pops up a bunt attempt with runners on 1st and 2nd.
Bottom 6 - Lackey loses it bad. 2-jack by Chipper (Chipper giveth), followed by a solo (19th) by Papi, followed by about 6-pack of baserunners for LCC. 4-1 Cannibals.
Erik Bedard gives up 2 baserunners. Rabidoux calls for the 3-run bomb by Albert Pujols. Sure enough, called shot. 4-4 game. Beard kicks Bedard in the nuts on his way to the shower.
Former Cannibal Scott Shields comes to the rescue of the semi-dormant LCC offense. He flips the glove before grooving fastballs to consecutive Cannibals. 6-4 LCC
Rabidoux takes a cell phone call. "Mike Hargrove" Beard goes into the stall, checking the remaining battery power on his laptop. Hmmm... 33%. Barring a 1-hour phone call, this is a doomed strategy.
In the post game interview, winning pitcher Fernando Rodney said through his free translator, "Me confuse not with my grease I screw countryman, Fernando Valenzuela. The it was a principle with an eccentric one, I am a bone that chooses reliever of vulture with only a tone, the fastball."
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1st inning - Boof Bonser's sh*t isn't fooling Carlos Delgado. 2-0 VFS.
Bottom of the 1st - LCC takes heart when the punchless VFS outfield of Chone Figgins, Emil Brown, and Mark Kotsay take the field. Unfortunately, the LCC offense goes down more easily than Paris Hilton.
Top 2nd - Rab runs his team out of an inning by attempting to go 1st to 3rd with 2 outs.
Bottom 3 - JD Drew goes yard. The one real spectator at the game asks, "JD Drew - Isn't he hurt?"
Top 4 - Boof STILL isn't fooling Delgado. Another 2-run bomb, 4-1 VFS.
Boof is tired.
Bottom 6 - Chipper doubles and Papi drives him in with a 2-run bomb. Soup is done.
Trever Miller comes on in relief with one on. Passed ball, passed ball, ground ball ss A with the infield in, Thome scores on a coin toss. Rab goes for more beer and popcorn.
Chad Bradford comes in and gets a quick out, then walks Pujols and (smartly) Delgado before giving up a single to Emil Brown and joining Boof in the shower.
Fernando Rodney gives up an RBI groundout to George Posada, 5-4 VFS.
Liriano enters the game, holding his elbow. Pinch-hitter Jonny Gomes walks, pinch-runner Ricky Weeks steals 2nd, and a passed ball moves him to 3rd. Chipper Jones shrewdly takes advantage of the situation by striking out.
Papi singles through the drawn-in infield! "Nice!" and "*#$&!" are the comments around the desk.
Tie game, top 7. Mark Kotsay leads off with a double. Beard makes a beer run to the fridge.
Figgins bunts Kotsay to 3rd. Cano plates a run and is safe on a fielder's choice. Pujols singles him to 3rd. Delgado is up.
Rodney and his stupid crooked hat leave with the bases juiced. Jon Rauch k's Emil Brown to end the threat. 6-5 VFS.
Liriano gets two quick outs. His work is rewarded by a hook when pinch-hitter Jose Cruz Jr (alleged grandson of Rusty Staub) comes up. Cruz is replaced by 80's teen sensation Corey Hart. Flyout.
Bottom of the 9th, last chance. Renteria walks and steals 2nd. Billy Wagner tools it up to about 102, striking out Francouer, Chipper, and Papi in the clutch to end the game. VFS 6 - LCC 5.
Game MVP Carlos Delgado, through the NASBL official translator had this to say about his 2 HR, 4 RBI performance, "Oh, how candy is the dick large that rubs LCC the wrong way."
Wait, who the F is paying this translator? For $65 you can get a real one.
Game 2 - Chipper taketh away. An early error leads to another VFS lead, 1-0.
Thome singles in front of former (current?) LCC employee Chone Figgins, who obligingly allows it to roll between his legs, then kicks it around until Thome moves to 3rd.
Thome scores, then in the bottom of the inning "Robert Walker" Figgins pops up a bunt attempt with runners on 1st and 2nd.
Your check's in the mail, Chone.
Bottom 6 - Lackey loses it bad. 2-jack by Chipper (Chipper giveth), followed by a solo (19th) by Papi, followed by about 6-pack of baserunners for LCC. 4-1 Cannibals.
Erik Bedard gives up 2 baserunners. Rabidoux calls for the 3-run bomb by Albert Pujols. Sure enough, called shot. 4-4 game. Beard kicks Bedard in the nuts on his way to the shower.
On comes Fabulous Fernando Rodney...
Former Cannibal Scott Shields comes to the rescue of the semi-dormant LCC offense. He flips the glove before grooving fastballs to consecutive Cannibals. 6-4 LCC
Fabulous Fernando loads the bases. Beard makes a beer run.
Rabidoux takes a cell phone call. "Mike Hargrove" Beard goes into the stall, checking the remaining battery power on his laptop. Hmmm... 33%. Barring a 1-hour phone call, this is a doomed strategy.
Chad Bradford enters the game to face Emil Brown. The faithful start the chant: "Brooowwn eeeyyye, Brown eye..."
Chad "Bowling is for Sundays" Bradford gets a couple of lineouts and hard groundouts, including Jeter in the clutch with runners on 2nd and 3rd.
Rabidoux moves ahead with plans to eviscerate Scot Shields.
In the post game interview, winning pitcher Fernando Rodney said through his free translator, "Me confuse not with my grease I screw countryman, Fernando Valenzuela. The it was a principle with an eccentric one, I am a bone that chooses reliever of vulture with only a tone, the fastball."
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