NASBL News

Saturday, June 19, 2010

Zack Grienke is Griz's Road Warrior

Zack Grienke has led the Grundy County Grizzlies to a new place, I mean 1st place, which is a spot in the standings that the Grizzlies have never been seated past Block 1. Part of the reason is that 13 of Grienke's 18 Block 1 & 2 starts were on the road.

Currently the Griz stand at 52-44, 8 games above .500 with 8 road games yet to be reported in the first half. Grienke has pitched 17 of his 18 assigned Block 1 & 2 starts and has been stunning. Grienke's record is 9-4, with a WHIP just over 1.0. Grienke has completed 8 games, struck out 129 batters in 126 innings, while only allowing 2 earned runs per 9 innings pitched.

Grinke is battling some rookie lefthander for the NASBLs lowest ERA mark and Zack's manager is not even letting him do it in his home park where it is impossible for imposing batters to collect ballpark homeruns.

Manager Jack Howard is very proud of his young righty who Jack has stood by through thick-and-thin since the Grizzlies drafter Grienke. So far - Grienke is rewarding that loyalty.

While Griz fans can only read about their ACE pitchers stats in the local papers, they stand united in throwing Grienke to the wolves if that gives them a chance to earn their first playoff spot. Grinke has 15 more starts available for the remaining 2 blocks which are only 58 games long. Griz management plans to start Grienke 10 of the 30 remaining road games, which will allow Griz fans the ability to witness Zack's efficiency five more times.

Zack said, "it has been fun so far. I will pitch them one game at a time, and lord willing the team will be successful."

Friday, June 18, 2010

Haymakers in the Market

Troy: Even before all the second block results are in, Haymaker management has decided to try to make a push...and they are not being sneaky about it.

"We need a bon-a-fide ace on our staff," said the GM, "We need to make a push and that is the biggest piece. We need the type of guy that , when he gets on the mound, we know we have a good shot of winning the game. Not just a decent or good pitcher....a great pitcher."

When asked about what would be available to the team with this type of arm available, the GM responded, "Whatever it takes." He continued in his best Obama like voice, "Let me be clear...we will be in the playoffs and we will do whatever it takes to get the pitcher that will put us over the top."

That is a bold statement, and only time will tell if this all comes true.

Saturday, June 12, 2010

NASBL Commissioner Says Break Up Outlaw Josey Wales!

Fans of the reigning World Series Champion Outlaw Josey Wales were stunned by the surprise, unilateral reassignment of Adrian Gonzalez to divisional rival New Jersey Trash Heap. Never in the history of the North American Strat-O-Matic Baseball League has a team been declared so dominant that the commissioner has had to act in the best interests of baseball by breaking them up.

NASBL's surprise dictate was hidden in their press release proclaiming "2 players have collected 6 hits in a game in NASBL 2010. One was NJT's Adrian Gonzalez, against the New York Knights. The other was Juan Pierre of LCC against.... the New York Knights!"

Rumors abound in Outlaw Pond that Adrian Gonzalez himself lobbied the NASBL commissioner for this move after team officials ignored his repeated requests to move in the 400-foot right field wall (LHBPHR-0).

Outlaw officials had nothing to say other than "As far as we know, Adrian Gonzalez is a Wales. Period."

Tuesday, June 8, 2010

The Party is Over so

Dallas Morning News................ P. 1
3
Back in 2009 the Spurs rolled the dice and went for it to make a play-off run. While DFW got some much needed help, so did other teams. VFS made some great deals acquiring 3B- C.Jones from LCC, 1B- A.Huff from ILL and pitching help in B. Sheets from GCG and J. Litch from TRY. MSU made some minor deals to shore up some weak areas. It was like they [teams like VFS and MSU] were trading rifles with the Calvary, while DFW was getting bows and arrows from the Indians.

2
DFW traded their 2010 1st to ILL for LF- D. Dejesus and relievers C. Marmol and J. Carlson. [A Vermont Newspaper, you remember the kind you read articles in and stats out of years ago, once ran an article that DFW would trade a 1st Rd pick well in the words of Charleston Heston 'When you prey it from my cold dead hands'!] See you can teach an old dog new tricks. They traded their 3rd Rd pick to LVI for M.Derosa and a 4th Rd pick for R.Spilsbough and M. Fontenot, both fighting injuries, [aka NASBL translation almost out of ab's]

1
The Spurs got off to a very fast in 09 in BK-1 and had the top record in the Less Filling Division. Everything was going DFW's way, which lead to a false sense of expectations. Skipper Red Robbins said, 'we knew we had a good team, however could we keep up this pace'. The answer was 'NO'. During BK-2 teams like Miami and Seattle started playing better baseball and past DFW in the standings. DFW had to trade for help. However the Fight Sioux had the same game plan and executed it much better than the Spurs. These events good or bad are what led to the state of DFW today.

This article is dedicated to 'Seinfeld' Backwards episode!

MLB Declares Strasburg One of 50 Greatest of All Time!

St Albans Messenger, 8 June 2010

On the eve of his first MLB start, Major League Baseball (a semi-pro feeder league for the NASBL) has proactively declared soon-to-be-rookie pitcher Stephen Strasburg one of the 50 greatest pitchers of all time.

We pointedly asked MLB commissioner Bud Selig the pressing question of the day: "Top 50 of all time? Bearing in mind this kid has never pitched in the majors, don't you think top 50 is a little ridiculous?"

Pausing for a moment to reflect, Selig responded: "Top 50? Maybe you're right. Let's see, there's Cy Young, Walter Johnson, and.... errrrm... Yes. You're definitely right. Top 50 is absurd. Strasburg is easily among the top-3 of all time."

Continued Selig, "Despite considerable discussion on the subject, I will have you know that all the all-time MLB career records Stephen Strasburg has established to date will Not have an asterisk beside them."

When asked "What records?!" Selig responded, "Oh, you know - 512 wins, 5,715 strikeouts, 111 shutouts, stuff like that."

When our interviewer pointed out that Strasburg not only didn't own any career MLB records, but had not yet even thrown a Major League pitch, Selig responded "Oh, pish-posh." (Seriously. He said that.) "Now you sound like one of those we-want-an-asterisk naysayers. You know, the guys who wanted the little small-print note at the bottom of Strasburg's baseball-reference page and his recently minted Hall of Fame plaque, stating that 'Right now these massive and awe-inspiring numbers pretty much only exist on this page and in the heads of thousands of fawning sports talk show hosts with massive and borderline disturbing man-crushes on Mr Strasburg. As soon as Stephen gets around to actually stepping over the chalk line and grabbing a rosin bag for like 10 or 20 years, these new all-time records set by Stephen Strasburg remain unofficial.'"

"I mean, c'mon. We're all friends here in the baseball community," spoke Selig in his most reasonable voice, "There's no need to stand on formalities now, is there?"

Next our interviewer found Nationals manager Jim Riggleman, and asked him how he planned on using Strasburg in his MLB debut.

Said Riggleman, "Well, first off we're playing this game under protest."

When asked why, Riggleman responded, "We figure that's the most efficient way to head off any questions about his perfect game. I know, I know, you're thinking 'what perfect game? He hasn't even thrown a pitch yet?' And that's an excellent point, as far as it goes. But it doesn't take into account what we know about this kid. First off, every pitch he throws (or will throw, or "will have thrown / will have been throwing" if you're into the future perfect tense) is perfect. So naturally, if there's a hit or a walk or anything weird like that while he's on the mound, it's pretty much got to be the fault of the official scorer or one of the umps. Most likely Jim Joyce. He's got a history of this sort of thing, you know."

"So anyway, if we just protest all that stuff right up front, that sort of gets all the guesswork out of the way. Strasburg = perfect. Simple as rain. You know, we might even storm the field right after the national anthem, just to emphasize our point to the umpires and the worldwide viewing audience of over 5 billion people, including all 11 Pirates fans and the half-dozen disillusioned folks who were actually Nats fans before Stephen's debut."

When asked if Strasburg would undergo the traditional rookie hazing, Riggleman laughed and said, "Sure, like when we call the rookies 'rook' and 'meat,' and make them dress up in red frilly bloomers like Little Bo Peep and make them try to get an actual sheep through airport security by claiming it's their girlfriend?"

"Ho, ho! You bet! Only with Strasburg, we're going to modify the program a little. Instead of 'meat,' we're going to call him 'Sir.' Boy, that one'll really get him! Then, instead of the whole 'walking through the airport with farm animals and women's clothing' gig, we figure instead we'll roll a red carpet down the whole concourse, and have about a dozen Scandinavian virgins carrying little wicker baskets sprinkle rose petals in front of his feet every step of the way. Plus a couple more of them to cool him by waving fans made with feathers plucked from still-living exotic yet endangered brightly colored tropical birds. If we can find enough Scandinavian virgins, that is. It's been a little tough since Tiger Woods spent that month in Sweden 'reconciling with his wife,' if you get my meaning. Yessirree, hazing it is! No exceptions for any rookies, no matter how awe-inspiring their breaking stuff, that's my policy."

In an attempt to gain some historical perspective, our interviewers finally went and sought out some other formerly hyped uber-prospects, to see what they thought of Strasburg. Their comments are noted below:

"He's got great stuff. Heck, how could he possibly fail?"

-Rick Ankiel

"He's a mature kid. I'm sure he won't let all the hype bother him. Hey, buddy, you want fries with that?"
-David Clyde

"His delivery and mechanics are perfect, and he has a solid pitcher's body. Um, could you please hold that dixie cup of water up to my lips so I can get a sip? My shoulder won't let me lift it on my own."

-Mark Prior

Doc Gooden was trying to construct a meth lab in the basement of the homeless shelter he sacks out at, and could not be reached for comment.

Saturday, June 5, 2010

Re-energized Knights Continue to Wallop Outlaw

Steve, where'd you find this new owner? He's a GENIUS!

Strat-O-Matic Report


BOXSCORE: 2010 New York Knights At 2010 Outlaw Josey Wales          7/26/2010
 
  Knights            AB  R  H RBI AVG     Josey Wales        AB  R  H RBI AVG
  M.Young 3B          5  0  2  0 .324     D.Pedroia 2B        4  0  1  1 .268  
  J.Kubel LF          4  0  0  0 .320     E.Andrus SS         3  0  1  0 .287  
  M.Kemp RF           4  2  2  0 .314   A-T.Hudson PH         1  0  0  0 .273  
  A.Laroche 1B        4  1  1  1 .324   B-O.Vizquel SS        0  0  0  0 .247  
  V.Guerrero DH       5  1  2  0 .308     N.Cruz RF           4  0  0  0 .212  
  G.Sizemore CF       3  1  0  0 .157     M.Ramirez LF        2  0  0  0 .254  
  J.Lugo 2B           3  1  1  0 .252   C-L.Valbuena PH       1  0  0  0 .258  
  C.Barmes SS         4  0  2  5 .193     A.Gonzalez 1B       4  0  0  0 .280  
  R.Barajas C         4  1  2  1 .208     R.Ludwick DH        3  1  1  0 .301  
                                        D-D.Ortiz PH          1  0  0  0 .238  
                                          A.Beltre 3B         3  0  1  0 .245  
                                          J.Saltalamacchia C  3  0  0  0 .206  
                                          R.Davis CF          3  0  1  0 .267  
                     -- -- -- ---                            -- -- -- ---      
         Totals      36  7 12  7                 Totals      32  1  5  1
 
A-Pinch Hit For Andrus In 8th Inning
B-Subbed Defensively (SS) For Hudson In 9th Inning
C-Pinch Hit For Ramirez In 9th Inning
D-Pinch Hit For Ludwick In 9th Inning
 
Knights......... 0 2 1  1 3 0  0 0 0  -  7 12  1
Josey Wales..... 0 0 0  0 1 0  0 0 0  -  1  5  0
 
Knights (27-43)          IP       H   R  ER  BB  SO  HR    ERA  SCORESHEET
M.Cain WIN(5-9)           9       5   1   1   0   8   0   4.28  A1
Totals                    9       5   1   1   0   8   0
 
Josey Wales (47-42)      IP       H   R  ER  BB  SO  HR    ERA  SCORESHEET
J.Chamberlai LOSS(2-8)    4 2/3   8   7   7   2   5   1   5.79  A1 C7
J.Carlson                 2       3   0   0   1   0   0   4.26  C8 D6
D.Carrasco                1       1   0   0   0   1   0   2.60  D7 E1
S.Downs                   0 1/3   0   0   0   0   0   0   1.08  E2 E2
G.Balfour                 1       0   0   0   0   2   0   2.81  E3
Totals                    9      12   7   7   3   8   1
 
ATTENDANCE- 47,234 DATE- Sunday, July 26th 2010 TIME- Night 
T- 2:43
LEFT ON BASE- Knights: 7  Josey Wales: 5
DOUBLE PLAYS- Knights: 1  Josey Wales: 1
ERRORS- M.Young
DOUBLES- M.Kemp-2(18th), A.Laroche(18th), V.Guerrero(7th), C.Barmes(4th)
TRIPLES- E.Andrus(6th)
HOME RUNS- R.Barajas(10th)
STOLEN BASES- M.Kemp(12th)
SACRIFICE HITS- J.Lugo
WALKS- J.Kubel, M.Kemp, A.Laroche
HIT BY PITCH- G.Sizemore, M.Ramirez
STRIKE OUTS- M.Young, J.Kubel, M.Kemp, A.Laroche-2, V.Guerrero, G.Sizemore,
             C.Barmes, E.Andrus, T.Hudson, M.Ramirez-2, R.Ludwick, A.Beltre,
             R.Davis-2
GIDP- D.Pedroia
WILD PITCHES- J.Carlson
 
Matt Cain had a strong outing as the New York Knights beat the Outlaw Josey
Wales by a score of 7 to 1.
 
Cain(5-9) dominated Outlaw hitters.  He didn't give up much, just 5 hits and
no walks in 9 innings reducing his ERA from 4.54 to 4.28.  New York finished
with 12 hits in the victory.  
 
Joba Chamberlain(2-8) was charged with the loss.  He was unable to control the
New York offense and allowed 8 hits and 2 walks in 4 and 2/3 innings.

Go to Strat-O-Matic Homepage

Good Knight! Matthew Eddy's Team Gets Right Back on the Horse in Outlaw