Saturday, February 21, 2009

Iron Pigs Welcome Newest Hog


Iron Pig management is pleased to welcome Eva Longoria to the Iron Pigs. Management is confident that she will increase our ticket sales for the upcoming season. We fear that while our product on the field will not be up to the high standards set by last season's squad, it was important to show our fan base that we are committed to providing other forms of enjoyment when coming to the ballpark.
Some things to know about Eva:
  • Statistics: Age 34, height 5'-2", weight 114#, 34-25-35
  • She has very soft hands and enjoys third base
  • She is talented with leather and very good at scooping fast moving balls
  • She is skilled working with the bat in her hands
  • She is not intimidated by the the high hard one
Stay tuned for further promotions regarding Eva.

3 comments:

ojw said...

This move should help with free agent recruitment too!

Haymakers said...

Those are some damn good stats!

keithninety said...

So her hips (35) are wider than her bust (34)? She doesn't look it.