Pigs Draft Backstop!

In a landmark decision that should affect the outcome of the entire season, Lehigh Valley drafted a catcher in the critical sixth round of the draft. Management had been vacillating between going with a fourth outfielder (ala slow pitch softball) in lieu of the more traditional backstop. In the end, protests from the powerful umpires union forced us to acquiesce and draft a catcher. Our philosophy was that we would rather keep the opposing players off base by catching the fly balls, but the umpires whined that the "7 inches of armor plating" that they wear would not provide them ample protection from the pitched ball. This begs the question to be asked... is the modern umpire a pale imitation of the great old warriors? What are these boys thinking, cuz it sure ain't baseball?